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“Dear Diary”



“Dear diary, it’s been a long time since I’ve written…”

It’s been months since I have posted anything on my blog space but it’s not that I’m not writing. The pile of napkins, receipts, and entries into my electronic notes will attest to the fact that my brain is still offloading so much that I need to write down before I forget it all.

Some of it would be considered just mere ramblings. Other notes, as everyone knows, turn out to be private or therapeutic. But it has been a long, difficult, and somewhat confusing year and apparently extremely “note-worthy.”

I’ve moved a few times, driven thousands of miles, grieved some big losses, and settled back into my hometown in Pennsylvania. I reside there by myself, work as a volunteer in our local hospital/clinic campus, attend the church I was raised, meet many new friends every day, and enjoy great food and fellowship wherever I go. Not to mention I have found many people that have known me or my family from decades ago – including a former babysitter. Encounters with these long-lost friends of the family have made me feel so welcome and loved it has been an amazing experience.

It’s a situation you would call bittersweet though. My family still resides in the South at the moment. That makes things tenuous, lonely, and let’s face it – it makes it difficult to cook dinners for one and freeze the rest! But it has been better for my health and as all my friends know, I clearly LOVE winter weather – right down to shoveling the snow!

In fact, as I write this, I’m visiting Alabama and missing a really nice snow storm up north. Everyone promises me though that there will be more snow to come and that I won’t miss out … They seem to grumble about it though, I’m not sure why…

As usual, my thoughts turn to the lessons I’ve been learning through all this uprooting. Some lessons are short and to the point, others – well I’m still tapping my fingers waiting for them to be resolved so I can move forward …

I’m hoping to get to write and post a few things this week but my neck pain is at the helm and we’ll just have to wing it as usual.

I have thought greatly on the loss of a friend over the last few months and also about turbulent family relationships and how to deal with them, survive them, and how to forgive and feel forgiven over some of the junk in life. You know, just the average daily thoughts because that’s where my life is at the moment.

My writings today are done with the sun streaming in through the windows, but I’m thinking of grey clouds and of driving back to the land of snow and cold … But both places make me smile, way down deep.

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Posted by on January 27, 2015 in Life, in general

 

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Home?

Home?

I’m surviving without internet service and wifi except for my incredibly smart phone.

Believe it or not….

Based on that knowledge, please pardon the fact that I will be posting from my phone unless I somehow find the time to park myself at a McDonald’s and order myself a chocolate shake and borrow their wifi.

I now live in a town where it takes 7 minutes to travel 1.2 miles. A place where learning the ever-changing speed limits is as important as memorizing the location of every back-jarring pothole.

This is the place where I was born and have always considered “home.” Living here again, however, has left me feeling displaced. This could possibly stem from the fact that most of my belongings are still in my truck….

Really – after a whole month I’m still driving around with my desk, baskets, buckets of kitchenware, quilts, sewing and drawing equipment … and one really long and obnoxious rug. Oh and a couple of mosaic tables.

And I feel lost, in the most familiar place I know.

My life …

Takes up one corner of someone’s kitchen

One small bed

One small closet

One shelf in the bathroom

One spot in the driveway

And one corner of a living room (my easel and art supplies)

This…. Is not my home.

Hmmm I wonder when I will no longer feel “lost.”

Pictures of “Home”

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Posted by on June 27, 2014 in Five Minute Friday, Life, in general, Travel

 

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Friend

On Fridays… we “shhhh” the inner critic and run freely with our words.  Allowing ourselves to exercise our free-flowing words with a one word prompt from our fearless community leader Lisa Jo Baker.  Then we join together and encourage each other – kind of like a Flashmob for Writers.

www.lisajobaker.com

HDT friend quote

Friend

Recently I added two new friends to my Facebook page … friends from middle school. One remembered me and the other had some vague familiarity of my name.

Many people who know me well know that I have friends all over the country and a few overseas. They are all a part of my life because I have lived in many places…. and in order to keep in touch with them I have used snail mail, email, then Facebook – which really expanded my capabilities of finding a few friends that I had lost touch with many decades ago.

Occasionally, I see posters saying “Keep people in your life that motivate you, love you, make you happy, etc.”  And to “Let Go” those that don’t…

Basically it encourages you to walk away from the people in your life who are negative, or who drag you down … but I believe eventually we would all be ALONE if we followed that advice.

{WE} could eventually be that negative person that someone feels led to “let go.”

I have friends of all kinds … They all have distinct personalities and opinions and their own personal soapboxes that they stand on in life… Sometimes I join them on that soapbox, other times I just read or listen to whatever they are passionate about.

Not everything they say is nice, or beneficial, but I can’t discount them as a friend simply on the merit that I think they are “negative” … each one brings a little piece of something to my life.

Honestly? A few years ago someone said something to me that was pretty negative and I was really at a loss for words. It hurt, and it hurt deep.

It also made me truly look at myself and see …

while I was pointing out the faults of others …

I had COMPLETELY lost sight of my own sinful nature.

I could have easily let that person go, but I was taught a valuable lesson that day.  An important lesson that I try to exercise daily.

A friend loves at all times

Proverbs 17:17

 

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Five Minute Friday – Paint

Acrylic Lesson One

Paint

I’m in love with this word

Actually, paint in general kind of makes me all giddy inside.

Really … I’m not lying

I don’t know what it is but I love to paint.

Ask my walls.

Or the Hoosier cupboard.

Or the barn, my garage doors, the shutters, the windows, the porch posts, the deck, the workbench, our picnic table …

I think you see my point, right?  Or is that you should see my PAINT???

Oh and something really new and fabulous???

You can even ask the canvases I’ve been working on …

I sort of ran out of LARGE surfaces but I still wanted to paint – so I am taking lessons in acrylic.

Which sort of led to re-painting my old desk that HOLDS my paint supplies.

Funny how THAT works, right?

Oh, did I mention how I like to paint my toes too?  Yes, it’s fun to do that kind of painting too!

On Fridays… we “shhhh” the inner critic and run freely with our words.  Allowing ourselves to exercise our free-flowing words with a one word prompt from our fearless community leader Lisa Jo Baker.  Then we join together and encourage each other – kind of like a Flashmob for Writers.

www.lisajobaker.com

 

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Five Minute Friday ~ Writer

On Fridays… we “shhhh” the inner critic and run freely with our words.  Allowing ourselves to exercise our free-flowing words with a one word prompt from our fearless community leader Lisa Jo Baker.  Then we join together and encourage each other – kind of like a Flashmob for Writers.

www.lisajobaker.com

Intense Light

How can I pass up a Five Minute Friday prompt that shouts at me …

Doubt!

Worry!

Frustration!

Empowerment?

Encouragement?

Self-Esteem?

Time?!

Labor?!

Aches and Pains?!

What, didn’t your email speak those words to you?

Mine did… because I’m a writer and I think about all those things when Lisa Jo sends the prompt on Fridays.  Doubt I’ll write today, I’m frustrated I didn’t have time to write, etc.

See why I can’t pass up a juicy tidbit of a word like Writer?  It invokes so much emotion in me that I, well, I was ALMOST propelled to the keyboard on Friday.  I did take notes in my phone immediately though, and that’s enough..

I write because I have doubt, and so do others.  That encourages us, empowers us and it’s a labor of love through the aches and pains and the groanings of life.  It can propel us to SKIP washing the dishes ask for help with the kids so we can squeeze in a little time to write.

And I love it… and linking up on Fridays is really fun and has been a blessing in my life that took away some of the doubt, and definitely gave me some new friends with tons of encouragement!

Have a great weekend… and WRITE something!  You know, if you have time ~ No pressure ~ Just sayin …

 
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Posted by on April 5, 2014 in Five Minute Friday Flash Mob, Writing

 

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A Simple Writing Exercise? Nooooo

Dunes and seashore

{An allegory – a symbolic representation}

{A parable – usually a short, fictitious story that illustrates a moral attitude or a religious principle}

I shield my eyes from the sun as I admire the glistening ocean waters from the top of the dunes. The sand is hot and rough on my bare feet and as soon as my shoes come off my feet are encompassed by the weight and depth of it. No matter how I choose to walk on the dune, I feel like I’m sinking and that I might not get down to the shore. I could get exhausted by the time I get to the water’s edge.

(Is it here, at the beginning, that the difficulty is obvious…that the next step might be in the wrong direction? Is it tough-going because you’re treading into something you shouldn’t?)

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The short piece of allegory above was part of a writing exercise from December 2012.

In January 2013 I began writing down the exercise and that’s all it was…an exercise..

{It’s amazing what God can see and reveal to you before you are even ready to receive it}

I was supposed to close my eyes and think of a place and imagine all the sights, sounds, and smells of that place that held good memories.  I immediately went to my favorite place on the earth …the beach.  Specifically the beach where I spent many summers as a child.  A wonderful place that always brings back great memories.

So, I began writing about the feel, the smell, and the warmth of the beach.  Picturing perfectly in my mind’s eye a place I knew by heart, right down to the last grain of sand – every sharks purse – every seashell that I picked up and admired.

{As I wrote, I was shocked at what was happening to my perception of my written words.}

I began to see a completely different meaning that was spiritually very deep.  A mirror I guess you would say… a mirror to the deception of sin.

{How strange was that???}

So as I wrote, I paused and went back through each paragraph and noted how the vivid descriptions were like sin.  It became an allegory and I loved it.

Months later I realized I was living it out in real life and I was drowning …

because the beach led to the ocean

and the ocean led to swimming,

and swimming led to a rip current

and one human can not survive alone against a whole ocean

and I was drowning…

I stopped writing this allegory though, because I had no conclusion to the story.  I didn’t realize that it applied to me yet, but I was having difficulty coming up with an ending.

I had no solution to the drowning except for one…

The Human Chain rescue

When I realized this allegory applied to me, I was left suspended – with no conclusion, no help, no clue, and certainly no human chain to rescue me.  So, this morning, I decided that I needed to finish this allegory and to start writing this in my blog and hopefully you’ll want to hear the rest of the story…

The story is called:

A Day at the Beach, A Journey into Sin and Back

{When I publish it, I will make this title a link…}

 
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Posted by on March 18, 2014 in Life, in general, Writing

 

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Who am I? Who are you?

Today I’m just plugging along…finishing laundry, washing dishes, and tearing apart dismantling my stove top to clean it.  Because, well, it needed it and I hadn’t used a screwdriver in a very long time…

stove

And wouldn’t you know … I’m writing too… when my hands are dry anyway …

And I’m writing things about myself, in order to pull out the good things today instead of the negative…

Who am I?

I’m a human, a girl, a wife, a mom, a writer, an artist, a crafter and a genius.

But in this world of ours, this isn’t a competition – this is who I am and most days I’m good with that.

I’m also organized, thoughtful, and caring.

I love coffee, Oreos, and chocolate cake.

I love hiking, driving, skydiving, watching birds, watching movies and reading – yes, even the dictionary!

So, what about you???  Who are you and what do you like???

 
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Posted by on March 18, 2014 in Life, in general, Writing

 

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