“You’re afraid.” I know that’s God’s voice because I’m still trying to follow another path with “Stay” and He won’t let me go there… I’m still trying to hide that little, insidious truth that I AM afraid.
Afraid. Of more rejection. Of staying put indefinitely and dealing with more rejection.
In 2004, my husband retired from the Army and we made our final move. We dove in at our new church, fixed up the house, tried to navigate the new area and all it’s back roads, and we spent time trying to get to know our new church members. Problem is, eight years later, we feel very much alone.
We’d made a deal to stay put in the house we’d bought for ten years. By then, our youngest would be out of high school. Besides, we knew we’d have an itch to move sooner, so this seemed like a good “plan” to avoid scratching that itch and uprooting the kids unnecessarily.
Giant hail. That’s what did it. Ruined the new roof, put holes in the siding and this year we re-roofed, re-wrapped the house, put on new gutters and killed termites and cut trees. Then, I had this wild idea to put a pool in the back yard!
Ok, it’s pointless now, we’re staying. Although, if one more toilet tank kit breaks, I may start calling the moving company just for my own sanity…
But, it’s God’s voice, I know, reminding me He put us here. He was VERY clear about that 8 years ago. So, I will trust in Him that this place, and this time in our life, will have an AWESOME outcome!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Someone really smart gave us a plaque with that verse on it and it hangs over my back door. Next time I leave the house, maybe I should read it, again.