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Tag Archives: Healing

Five Minute Friday – Ordinary

Ursa-Major

It’s no ordinary pool.

Not for about 3 months now.

It’s been a sanctuary made of a concrete apron and some fencing and, of course, the pool.

Each and every night, encased in the darkness we spoke.

Exchanging sorrows, apologies, and words – some bitter, some encouraging, some just packed with truth.

It’s like the darkness protected us … But in all actuality – we were in the biggest wide-open space there was by the pool – under the stars.

And we were never alone.

Ordinary?  To the many people passing by it’s just a pool.

But to us, it became a sanctuary for hope and healing.

Under a covering of constellations…

And under the covering of a gracious, merciful, loving and forgiving God.

It’s just not ordinary anymore…

*Curious about Five Minute Friday?  It’s like a Flashmob for writers.*

A bunch of us, with a one-word prompt, write fearlessly for FIVE minutes and link up together. Join us!

http://lisajobaker.com

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~Listen~

I may be in a different time zone and the LORD only knows where my head and heart are right now, but it’s time for…

Five Minute Friday

(It’s like a Flashmob for writers)

~Listen~

I hear the sounds of growth, the sounds of Love

Hovering over you and me and healing the pain from the cracks and crevices where growth emerges.

Listen and you will hear the sound of growth, but it is not always familiar.

It comes amongst the grunts and groans of life.

It comes during the times when God says “No.” or “Not now.”

But, if you listen, it’s there.

The burgeoning, flourishing, and sprouting that occurs in all of God’s creation.

Is it possible to hear growth or change or rebirth?

Does it come with a noise that makes it distinguishable and audible?

Yes, I believe it does….but it’s personal, and only God knows what it sounds like in you.

Shhhh, it’s happening

~Listen~

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalm 46:10

 
 

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Abandoned, for a reason?

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I’m not sure this is how a writer should look, but I’m in the jammies and a robe, propped up with the pillows and my infamous wool socks… Oh, and please, let’s not forget the bifocals – at least the glasses fit the part!  Well, this is the way it is tonight because I just finished a movie that left me feeling a little desperate.  Desperate to dump on a page an unsettling piece of my childhood – all over again.  It’s better this time, though, as I see the words forming and the ideas taking shape…

All the way through this movie I felt the grumbling and churning of words and emotions that were begging to be spilled out on paper.  A confession of sorts, a purging of the angst over the childhood that didn’t go right.  It came to one word.

Abandoned.

Like a vapor, I was gone.  I was on the leading edge of being a teenager – just 13 – and my tender, young life was full of boys, dances, braces, and blue jeans.  That’s when it hit – the big change of address.  A move like none I’d ever heard of before that day – except in fiction.  A move out West.  This tiny, scrappy girl from a small town in Pennsylvania was moving to a place I had only heard of in books.  I really don’t know if I even knew where Arizona was, to be honest!  Somebody, give me a map!

Cowboy hats and pearl-buttoned shirts.  Houses made from stucco with clay-tile roofs.  Cactus and various poisonous wildlife.  I was excited and thought that it was really cool!  I know I was hoping that all my friends would be envious.  And what teenage girl doesn’t want to be envied?  Well, noticed at least?  Okay … maybe talked about?

Slam.  It was like someone closed a giant safe door on my childhood and home town and locked it away forever.  A place for me to remember, but never to really touch again.  Some wise person said “You can never go home again” and yes, it’s true.  Sometimes, unbearably true.

Stares came from all the kids at my new school because I was the new kid and you {Always. Stand. Out.}  So much for being envied…because if I was being talked about back home, how was I supposed to know?

You can make a career out of reinventing yourself at this new place to impress the “natives.”  It must be a defense mechanism.  But, eventually, the right people pick you out and gently allow you to enter their world.  For me, it was Carol, Muffy, Michelle and a few others with long-forgotten names.  Their faces will be forever etched in my mind though…

restored cross jr high

Somewhere in our adulthood, we unearth it – our childhood. Everyone knows about this, right?  Not everyone sees their past as unfortunate…Some only remember glorious times and great parents.  Others can be overcome with regret and others even terror.  I remember feeling abandoned, alone, set apart, set adrift and somewhat forced to find my own way through the adolescent mess PLUS moving clear across the country.  I no longer had my 4 siblings, my long list of childhood friends, my Grandmothers, or my neighborhood full of sidewalks that took you everywhere you needed to go.  How else can I describe it other than {Night. And. Day}

Four years later, we made yet another move right after my high school graduation.  Another effortless transition?  No, but I won’t digress into some diatribe that makes you feel sorry for the kid who gets moved without any real support system.  Instead, here’s the redemptive part…

I soon married, really soon, like that Fall.  He was my high school sweetheart and newly inducted into the US Army.  In case you don’t know anyone in the military, let me just tell you… you move a lot.  Actually, his first duty station was in Korea and so we spent that first year apart except for 2 weeks of leave time.

Over the next 20 years we moved a few times, had 3 kids, bought a couple of houses…and you know what?  We did it well.  We were highly capable and knew how to prepare the boxes, the kids, and the mountains of paperwork.  No one could have adequately prepared me for this except for … Yes, my childhood.

God’s plan isn’t always clear.  It’s an adventure.  It’s a worthwhile (and continuous) lesson in patience.  Take a shy kid, from a small town, put her in a city, pour all sorts of adjustments onto her and then see what happens.  I’m not saying I didn’t spend a {TON} of energy on regret and anger over it all, but in the end, I can say with all certainty that every bit of it had {HUGE} value.  It’s still my life lesson… to learn my lessons from my life.  Or, if I’m feeling really confused, I pick out a few woeful souls from the scriptures and I can see redemption all over again.

I felt abandoned, for a reason.  And God never meant to leave me there.  Even today He means for someone to hear and understand those things about their childhood and how to have peace with it all.

I love my friends.  I have more than I can count and they live in a million different places.  And most days I’m connected to them, because they never forgot me.  It amazes me still, after 33 years, I can meet someone I haven’t seen since age 13 and with an almost audible WOOSH, that safe door opens and we all get a little thrill from looking back – together – at those 3 decades and we smile.  It’s a little slice of {HOME}.

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2013 in Life, in general

 

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Laundry and Intercessory Prayer

christmas violin

I’m seriously trying to fold my husband’s shirts as well as he does. But, I have to {humbly} admit – he is the master of his domain! He does it well and I love the fact that he doesn’t mind doing it. He’s a servant at heart – even in this – a gift to me so precious that it boggles my mind. I mean, it’s ONLY laundry!

I related this in my mind today while praying for others’ requests and needs. How often do we try to outdo God in our prayers for others – our intercessory prayers? We can, and do, often pray according to how we see best for a situation to work out for all involved. But, if we truly love our God and love those for whom we pray, then why don’t we trust God to work out the details? I mean, He is the Master of His domain…

A few years ago my friend Lorrie passed away after a long, three-year battle with breast cancer. Constantly taking treatments, striving hard to treasure her time with her family, continuing to show up in all sort of ways to support her teenage children, she forged onward towards healing.

I was heartbroken when I received her Thank You card for the afghan I made her. As part of a prayer shawl ministry, I prayed for her as I made the blanket…. but the card was more than a Thank You… it was her revelation.

In a brutal honesty, she told me how ravaged her body had become from the cancer and that she was in a great deal of pain. After many prayers, several anointings, and a well-lived life in Christ … she admitted that she believed her healing would not come on this side of heaven.

She and I were only friends a short few years, but I know how much she loved her LORD, and I know the healing came – just not how we, in our earthly eyes, “pictured” it.

This taught me that God’s will isn’t always visible or tangible to us. Our Spirit-filled lives need to quiet our human minds occasionally for us to see the bigger picture. God still desires for us to pray, in love, for these requests of ours and others. But I’m certain of this – He’s going to accomplish things the best way He sees fit. He KNOWS how to do this… He is the master of His domain.

Lorrie was an excellent violinist, and for the last few nights and mornings, my alarm clock radio has been playing Pachelbel’s Canon in D on the radio. (by the Trans Siberian Orchestra) I’m instantly transported back to those days in the Giebelstadt chapel in Germany where she played that very song and my heart bloomed with its sweet sound even in the cold, dark days of Winter. Precious memories that forever changed my life… I can’t wait to see her again someday.

Christmas Canon – Tran-Siberian Orchestra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cP26ndrmtg

 
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Posted by on December 7, 2012 in Christmas, Life, in general

 

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Five Minute Friday – Thank You

Thank You

I’ve been stuck since yesterday morning (Friday) trying to imagine where my post would go for “thank you.”  Then, I’m late writing it because I’m mortified as to what might come out!

I’m stuck trying to get “Thank You” out of my throat.  I’ve been struggling with pain for so long and living with anxiety and depression too… It’s been easier to show appreciation to strangers.  With a smile on my face, I genuinely expressed many “thank yous” to my waitress last night at dinner.  A kind, sweet face, and a hard-working lady.

But I’m honestly wanting to say “Thank You” to God for something I haven’t received yet.  I need His healing touch so badly that I feel like I’m withholding my gratitude from Him until I receive the healing!

But, “thank you” IS INSIDE ME – I have to praise my Creator because HE is my Healer and my Redeemer.  Not because of “WHEN the healing comes,” but because HE IS THE HEALING!!!

Thank You my King of Kings – my Lord of Lords… the Saviour of my soul!

***About Five Minute Fridays and the “Flash Mob” of writers***

Our prompt comes from www.lisajobaker.com via our blog subscription.

We write for five minutes flat. No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation.

Unscripted. Unedited. Real.  Just five minutes of focused writing.

We link up our blog to Lisa Jo’s site, then encourage the person who linked up before us!

 
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Posted by on November 24, 2012 in Five Minute Friday Flash Mob

 

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