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“Dear Diary”



“Dear diary, it’s been a long time since I’ve written…”

It’s been months since I have posted anything on my blog space but it’s not that I’m not writing. The pile of napkins, receipts, and entries into my electronic notes will attest to the fact that my brain is still offloading so much that I need to write down before I forget it all.

Some of it would be considered just mere ramblings. Other notes, as everyone knows, turn out to be private or therapeutic. But it has been a long, difficult, and somewhat confusing year and apparently extremely “note-worthy.”

I’ve moved a few times, driven thousands of miles, grieved some big losses, and settled back into my hometown in Pennsylvania. I reside there by myself, work as a volunteer in our local hospital/clinic campus, attend the church I was raised, meet many new friends every day, and enjoy great food and fellowship wherever I go. Not to mention I have found many people that have known me or my family from decades ago – including a former babysitter. Encounters with these long-lost friends of the family have made me feel so welcome and loved it has been an amazing experience.

It’s a situation you would call bittersweet though. My family still resides in the South at the moment. That makes things tenuous, lonely, and let’s face it – it makes it difficult to cook dinners for one and freeze the rest! But it has been better for my health and as all my friends know, I clearly LOVE winter weather – right down to shoveling the snow!

In fact, as I write this, I’m visiting Alabama and missing a really nice snow storm up north. Everyone promises me though that there will be more snow to come and that I won’t miss out … They seem to grumble about it though, I’m not sure why…

As usual, my thoughts turn to the lessons I’ve been learning through all this uprooting. Some lessons are short and to the point, others – well I’m still tapping my fingers waiting for them to be resolved so I can move forward …

I’m hoping to get to write and post a few things this week but my neck pain is at the helm and we’ll just have to wing it as usual.

I have thought greatly on the loss of a friend over the last few months and also about turbulent family relationships and how to deal with them, survive them, and how to forgive and feel forgiven over some of the junk in life. You know, just the average daily thoughts because that’s where my life is at the moment.

My writings today are done with the sun streaming in through the windows, but I’m thinking of grey clouds and of driving back to the land of snow and cold … But both places make me smile, way down deep.

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Posted by on January 27, 2015 in Life, in general

 

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Silence is silver

the silver medal

I’m not sure where my voice has gone but I’m hoping it comes back. I hope that writing today when there is chaos in the house will help my focus.

I HOPE for a lot of things
*like for the child at the table to stop burping (usually that’s funny)
*or for the Banagram game to quiet down to a tolerable level
*or for the snow to hurry up and start so at least I can SEE for myself why everyone is home while the roads are still dry

Lately my silence on paper has been deafening though so that is why I have stopped all the fiddling around with art supplies in order to focus on my voice – which is essentially my writing. Last time it only had one volume – out loud, really loud – or when on paper and blog it was strong and forthcoming and somewhat rewarding.

The phrase “silence is golden” came to mind this day when I pulled out the keyboard, but that sounds like a winning opportunity – like years ago when all my children were taking naps simultaneously.

Right now, silence, in reference to writing, seems 2nd place … like a silver medal, not a gold. There’s nothing wrong with silver in the Olympics, but to some, it’s just not gold.

Silence on my keyboard is like a silver medal and I need to bring that back into my world because …

Silver:  It’s just not as significant as the big win.

So today I will write and as I begin, the noise and chaos of the house will fade …

I guess I’m on a bit of a wayward streak around here and that’s ok, but the fact that I seem to be stuck there is a big deal. And it’s not all just about writing, it’s about life.

Lately I’m catching a breath of fresh air – or catching a break – only to forget where it came from.

Sometimes I forget that for a brief moment in time I felt free from pain or free from the chaos that my life has become.

Today I will write because

I love it

I need it

It replenishes me…

 
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Posted by on March 18, 2014 in Life, in general, Writing

 

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Five Minute Friday ~Write~

typewriter

It’s been a couple of weeks since I last wrote-anything.

I didn’t have anything, or so I thought, for this week’s prompt “write.”

So, maybe my Five Minute Friday should be about “not writing.”

…Yes, that works… AND it gets me writing

I just haven’t had the energy to write.  I’ve been spending a huge amount of time talking, explaining, apologizing … praying.

And a great deal of my time lately has been spent watching the sun set each evening from my Adirondack chair.

Tonight, I’m writing though… in the dark, on my notepad, from my chair – outdoors.  Not a lot of talking needed tonight – more like contemplation.

About Life and Decisions and Directions … Big stuff.  Earth-shattering and life-altering big stuff.

Which is always good to contemplate … and then it gets you back to writing.

To write … perhaps the best way up and out of the muck and mire and back into the daylight… and of course, back in my little community of writers…

I’ve been missing you ladies…

blog keep calm

*Curious about Five Minute Friday?  It’s like a Flashmob for writers.*

A bunch of us, with a one-word prompt, write fearlessly for FIVE minutes and link up together. Join us!

http://lisajobaker.com

 

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