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Writer, Revised

writing with a pen

{I love to write}

 I discovered this WAY beyond my school years. I attempted journaling and some free-floating penning exercises about 11 years ago. I have even received a book on journal writing and a pen and a look from my sweet Christian sister that said – “Write.” She knew me inside-out after 3 years of living overseas as military spouses.  She knew it was something I needed to do, even if it was only for me to be able to “hear” myself amongst the noise and chaos of my life.

I dove headlong into books during our time in Germany. I read so much, that I started going through the Fiction section alphabetically and reading everything they had by each author. Truly, this voracious reading was something new to me.  I started to find a few authors that would eventually reflect so many similarities in my own life that I felt like they wrote like I spoke.  Maybe their characters thought or acted just like me.  Maybe the setting was familiar.  “I know these places, I’ve lived here, These are my people.”  It never occurred to me to write.  For myself, or for others.

This week, I felt disappointment and defeat in writing. On paper, on a computer or on a blog.  I felt I had no purpose or something like that …  I was inching towards this pit somewhere in January, but I stepped fully into the earthen darkness of it this week.  I could smell the dirt and I didn’t like it.

Last Fall, I was encouraged to write and to use a blog and join in with the Five Minute Friday community. I started doing that very thing, right here, last September. I felt freedom. It felt like someone untied the tethers of a hot air balloon and I was ascending quickly to join in on a journey that so many have chosen before me.  It was kind of a rush, actually.

The first time I hit “Publish” I realized that I had longed for the words in my mind to tumble off my tongue and make their way onto paper. I long to finish, click publish, and let go of something that is meant for someone else. A gift.

Writing has become a satisfaction that I can only compare to quilting.  It can be like a finishing a quilt – I love it – I want to speed up time to the point where I get to toss it over a bed, hang it on a wall, or give it to a friend.

Words, stories and writing are different from quilting though – they need a little more patience. A little more nit-picking – but I’m still just as anxious to share them.

I write because {I} love to write.

I want life to be all straight and aligned and logical, but it’s not.

I’d like this love of writing to be a banner of confidence in myself, but it’s not.

I’m not all straight and logical anymore.  My life is messy, funny, painful, hap-hazard, and ALL OVER THE PLACE.  I’m just figuring that out and trying to embrace that – or claw my fingernails in and hold on for the ride.

I occasionally make sense of life – but most days I’m clueless and left amazed by the sheer chaos that I have been oblivious to for so long.

I WANT to live without SpellCheck.

I WANT to spill my guts out on the page.

I WANT someone to “get it” and feel less alone because I’ve spit out a life issue and shared my heart …

I WANT someone to hear …   {You Are Not Alone}

I’m a Writer, revised – Changed, amended, shifting, adjusting and perhaps edited and/or strengthened.

For {God’s} glory and because {I} love to write.

**Many thanks to my encourager who sent me in the direction of this site and if you have any desire to write, or need some purpose or redirection in your writing, I suggest you read the E-book “The Writer’s Manifesto”  http://goinswriter.com/writers-manifesto/

*Call it a ladder for climbing out of the pit …

*Call it a hand reaching in to pull you out …

*Or maybe, it’s the newly painted trail marker that makes it clear how to get on a better path – For being a writer, or whatever else God is directing you to be… 

trail marker

 
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Posted by on February 23, 2013 in Life, in general, Writing

 

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Why and Where do I write?

I ventured into an actual bookstore this week for some inspiration on how to write.  I was just looking for a few titles in the non-fiction section – maybe journaling exercises or anything that might create sparks to help me reach a little deeper, or come across a little better.  What I found, and purchased, was a “how-to” book by a fiction author that I have enjoyed reading in the past.  The book is “Escaping Into the Open” by Elizabeth Berg.  There were a few others there as well but I curtailed my enthusiasm (and drooling) to just one book.  Later, I confess, I purchased some of those books online, but I’ll discuss them later because they are hilarious and “outside the box” for writing.

So, I thought I’d take the homework from the first chapter and write it out.  It’s a self-discovery chapter with questions about why you write and where you write, even whether or not you have a special place to write.  Beginnings are always a good place to start and maybe this will be enlightening to someone who has the “itch” to write.  This chapter made it easy to bridge from the “itch” to the “scratch” if you need a good place to get rolling in your own writing.

The homework began with “lie down, close your eyes, and clear your mind” … I did a little daydreaming and here’s where it went…

I hated writing as a child.  It was always homework and I despised it.  Even when we were doing something creative like an imaginative story, and not an essay, I would not be able to do it.  Writer’s block came to my 4th grade mind – I knew it well!  I remember one poem I wrote and liked, but considering it was Haiku and it had built-in boundaries, I know it came pretty easily.  I’m good at following rules, not free expression.  I could handle rhyming too, but to this day that Haiku poem is forever etched in my brain.

Me, myself, and I (5)

Went for a wonderful ride (7)

Up to the canyon (5)

In my mind, it is still a brilliant poem!   ; )

For the most part, I use journaling and blogging as my chosen form of writing…perhaps with a message to help others where I have stumbled.  Humor, anecdotes, or scriptural discussion are the ideas that take up the corners of my mind and fill the pages if I have a chance to write them down.  Sometimes my best ideas come when my hands are in the dishwater so my journal, pen, glasses and a free space are all I need to throw down some stuff before it escapes my mind.  Later I can go back and expound on it if necessary.  Sometimes, it’s months till I work out an idea into something that feels complete.

My need to write comes usually from good reading material or a life-changing event that needs resolution.  It all seems to culminate into something I think can benefit others as well as myself.  Reading something really good that changes me in some way can always be useful to others and I feel compelled to share it, even if it isn’t the answer for another person’s problems or circumstances … it’s kind of an opportunity to help someone see hope in our common struggles in life.  Some things I write are because I feel a need to say them, but maybe just to myself.  Truthfully, some of the really cruddy or emotionally overloaded things I write, get ripped out and tossed away so I can “let go” some piece of ugliness inside of me that I know doesn’t do me or God any good.  I will admit freely too that I write to keep from babbling to myself out loud…. and for this I think my family is thankful!

One of my favorite discoveries about the desire to write, is that I love jotting down quotes, lyrics, books to read and general ideas.  I believe it could be a bit genetic as I used to find lists everywhere that belonged to my mom.  She usually had a list, just inside the desk cupboard, with book titles on it for future trips to the library.  I always knew about her lists – they weren’t hidden by any means – but their presence amuses me now when I realize how similar my lists are to hers.  Some days it saddens me greatly that she’s gone and I can’t share my lists with her.  She’d love the comment I made about writing to keep from talking to myself out loud, as that was one of her favorite jokes.  She promised that “you’re okay as long as you don’t answer yourself back.”

Well, that bring to a close my first homework assignment from what promises to be a great instructional guide to writing.  At least it gives me some direction…and hopefully encouragement to someone else.

Romans 15:5,6

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 
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Posted by on November 1, 2012 in Writing

 

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Being a NEW Blogger

I hate to admit this, but I don’t read blogs that much.  In this picture/icon-filled world, not many people take the time to read anymore, but something in me has desired to write for a very long time and I keep putting it off.

I indulged in social media (Facebook) for too long and it became apparent that many people there were also too caught up in life to read much more than a quick status or two or peruse the family snapshots (captions optional).  Actually, that’s where I came across an excellent blog site called The Right Volume..primarily because it spoke to my womanhood, motherhood and my love for God, and also my imperfections that apparently everybody has.  (I know, that’s a secret that I wasn’t supposed to divulge)

Anyway, I’m an unfinished child most days.. God’s child specifically.  Wondering and pondering the same big questions that seem to plague many of my friends – who am I, what is my purpose in life, or my favorite “HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO GET ALL THAT DONE?”, etc. 

While all our answers to the big questions in life will ultimately be different and unique, I feel it necessary to share my struggles and successes in life to encourage others.  Mostly….because others have done that for me.

We’ll call it payback… not like you normally use the word… but as an expression of God’s LOVE that so many seem to be missing.

So, that’s why I have become a blogger… sound lame?  Let’s hope not ; )

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2012 in Life, in general, Writing

 

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